Big Brother 13 started tonight, and the first episode has left me feeling as excited as I was right before my gallbladder surgery (knowing at some point I would feel better, but not enjoying my current status).
Let’s cover the new cast first.
Lawon
First Impression: Trying hard to get attention. He will have some good one liners like tonight’s: “My mind is like a Twizzler.” But I don’t think he will have the stamina or mental agility to compete with the Veterans. He just seems flighty. He will likely fulfill floater status for several weeks if he’s able to keep people laughing. If this blog post was a senior yearbook, I’d vote him Most Likely to Entertain During Showtime After Dark
Shelly
First Impression: She will have a hard time relating to the other girls. She won’t be into the drama, will tell it like it is, and will be unimpressed by stories of modeling or cocktail waitressing. My guess is she works for Cabella’s or Bass Pro Shops. She’s corporate, so hopefully she has a killer “it’s just business, not personal” mentality because people who fall off the banana first and are over 40 never win BB. I’d vote her Most Likely to (s)Mother Jordan.
Adam
First Impression: He’s playing a caricature, but I will like the real Adam that comes out around week 3. His metal rawr will get very annoying if he keeps it up, but I find his interests compelling. Metal music plus 90210? Seeing Dick in the house is as good as Tori Spelling walking through the door? Wha?!?! I think it will be interesting to see if Dick will like Adam or crush his super fan dreams. I’d vote him Most Likely to be in an All-Girl Alliance.
Cassi
First Impression: She looks like Thirteen from House (Olivia Wilde) which is distracting. She got very little face time in the first episode which makes me question if she has enough personality to warrant attention. However, I’m guessing Rachel will be most jealous of Cassi because I’d argue she’s the prettiest girl in the house, and that could provide entertainment. Plus, she sounds more intelligent (so far) than Porsche (and her name isn’t Porsche, so her parents probably did something right). I’d vote her Most Likely to Float (in the pool and in the game).
Porsche
Speaking of Porsche…. First Impression: Dislike. First of all, her name is Porsche. I understand she didn’t choose her name, but I would have used my middle name if my parents named me after a car. Second, she’s a “VIP” cocktail waitress, and she lied about her job because people would be jealous of her fabulous lifestyle? Wait, what?!?! She’s dumb but doesn’t know it (and not in the endearing Jordan style). I’d vote her Most Likely to Name Drop.
Keith
First Impression: Super fan with no skills. If I watched the first episode on mute, I would have liked him. He’s an HR Manager with strong faith. He’s a snappy dresser and has a great smile. Those are all good things. However, when you think you have the “perfect plan” before you even get into the house AND draw it on a piece of paper AND name your non-existent alliance “Keith’s Angels” you easily become my vote for Most Likely to Get Blindsided by a Backdoor Vote.
Kalia
First Impression: She will be this season’s love/hate character. Half will love her because I guarantee she will start some drama and do lots of smack talking (i.e. not wanting to be paired with Lawon). Half will hate her because she will be loud and aggressive. Kudos to CBS for putting a lady with some curves on the show! However, when you call yourself the “real” Carrie Bradshaw, I’m inclined to dislike you. Do you know how many love/relationship bloggers there are who sip martinis? Honey, we’re all Carrie Bradshaw! Simmer down. You’re not that fabulous. I’d vote her Most Likely to Complain About E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!
Dominic
First Impression: He’s only here because he knows a casting agent. First of all, he didn’t know who Evel Dick and Danielle were. Second, he lives with his mom, doesn’t know how to do laundry or dishes? What?!?! That will cause lots of problems in this house if he makes it past week 4. When they get grumpy and stir-crazy they start noticing who cooks, cleans, and washes dishes. He won’t get by on his good looks (though I personally don’t find him attractive). If he and Porsche start hooking up, we’ll be looking at a summer of Dumb and Dumber. I’d vote him Most Likely to Be The First One Voted Out.
As for the Veterans:
Jeff and Jordan
They’ll keep viewers watching because they’re so darn cute. Jordan will continue to win random challenges, but fail anything physical (and vice versa for Jeff). They will be the power couple they’ve always been and will distract us from the Brenchel trainwreck that the CBS producers will shove down our throats. Everyone will want to align with them, and Jordan will think everyone is sweet, but Jeff will have to sort through people’s true intentions. However, we will have to hear about how Jordan doesn’t need the money because she’s already won BB once before (as will Dick). Notable Jordan quote tonight: “He makes me feel like chopped liver, and I hate chopped liver.”
Dick and Danielle
They haven’t spoken in 3 years? Ouch! But like Jeff said, not talking to each other worked last time. I will be highly disappointed if Evel Dick doesn’t make Brendan cry by the 2nd week. Danielle looks good as a brunette, but I’m pretty sure Dick has had some botox on his forehead. Something isn’t right there. I think the twist will help Danielle this season. She may even throw a comp hoping that they are put on the block so she can campaign against her dad. I’m not saying that’s a good strategy, but it looked like the wheels were turning in her head. Dick’s put on some weight, so I don’t think he will be much help in the physical challenges, but I think Danielle could have out-lasted Rachel tonight.
Brenchel (ugh!)
Really, CBS?! REALLY?!?!? You HAD to ruin my summer with the “uh-huh-huh-huh” laugh?!?! I intensely dislike them, and hate how the new twist affects voting one of them off early. Nothing else to say because talking about them makes me lose my pleasing personality!
In terms of strategy, if I was on that couch when Chenbot said to pair up, I would have paired with Adam. I don’t think he will be strong physically, but my gut instinct on him is that he will be super loyal to whoever he friends in the house. He won’t get into a distracting showmance so he can stay focused on the competition. He won’t be too into himself and will be able to keep the conversation going on a variety of topics over the next 3 months.
Once the “Big Brother Golden Key” twist was announced, this season got interesting. I’ll be honest, my overall first impression of the newbies was “meh.” No one stood out as someone I’d really like or as a clear competitor. Everyone just seemed average and working to build their modeling/acting portfolio. However, the twist adds an extra level of complexity to the game. The question is no longer “Who do you want to vote out?” but “Who can you afford to leave in the house for 4 weeks (plenty long enough to build super strong alliances)?” 
It pains me that Rachel won HoH, but since I like Dick, Danielle, Jeff, and Jordan, I’d have to nominate a newbie. I think I’d have to nominate Shelly/Cassi first. I’d want to test them because I think they’ll both float if given a chance, and being on the block is a sure-fire way to expose personalities. Also, I’m neither impressed not annoyed by either yet, so I wouldn’t feel like I’m making a risky move by guaranteeing them 4 weeks in the house.
So, those were my Episode 1 first impressions. What did you think?
By the way, I’ll probably keep posting my thoughts/opinions here sporadically throughout the season, but if you want a daily recap of what’s happening in the house plus super witty commentary, go over to Hamsterwatch.com. I’m a big fan.
Filed under: Reality TV | Tagged: Big Brother 13, opinion, reality tv | Leave a comment »
Some day, when I have a little girl, she will have no choice but to live in a Hello Kitty world. I loved Hello Kitty when I was little and would spend as much time as possible in the Sanrio store. My parents would say “Let’s go!” and I’d say “Wait, I just wanted to show you one more thing” and I would search for something else to add to my wish list. And, despite the fact that I was obsessed with Hello Kitty from a very young age, my parents still call Hello Kitty “My Little Kitty!”
BreCakes 